The Crows

The black birds

The death birds

Talk too much

Talk in tongues

And tones

And rhymes

And in riddles

Tell jokes

Keep secrets

They know your secrets

Secret messages, signs, if only you could understand them, decipher them, hear them.

They are very noisy, squawking loudly from telephone lines, and tree tops, signboards and rubbish dumps.

They hip and hop and dance and flap their wings, as if waving at you, calling you, trying to get your attention.

They just want your attention.

Listen to me. Speak to me. See me. See what I see.

Observers, standing on the edge, peering down from above, gesticulating, gesturing, trying to get your attention.

They do not hang around dead things because they are hungry, waiting for leftovers, or easy pickings, pecking out eyes and tongues, they are not vultures. No, crows are found where the dead are because crows are gargoyles for graveyards, protectors of the underworld and gateways to the other side.

Playfully, they pretend to be scary, dressed all in black, from beak to claw, their pretense is their horror, the perception of fear, of darkness of decay, but they are deceivers.

Deception is the crow’s strength and her biggest joke. She both obscures and reveals, cloaked in a curtain of smoke.

Do not be deceived by the crow for she may be ugly but she knows.

The eternal trickster, the crow is a ventriloquist who knows what to say, how and when.

Eve and I

Eve had a pair of luscious thick lips. Lips that said “Eat me”. Moist, partially, teeth bite, open lips. She was hungry. When that stupid serpent offered her a red shiny apple, it’s promise of truth and paradise, Eve grabbed the snake instead, broke its neck, smashed it against the tree and swallowed it whole. Then she turned to what she craved most,  the true object of her desire – her, sitting across the room.

The Big Bang

Once upon a time, before cities, and roads, and television and the Internet, before amusement parks and cinemas, fast food restaurants, before radio or even music, before animals or you or me there was Air and there was Earth.

In the beginning there was heaven and there was hell. There was the sky above and the earth below.

But even before all that was…

Under the cover of darkness, the black limousine pulled up to the curb and I got in with my small suitcase. As the car drove off, my eyes slowly getting used to the night, I realized I was not alone. The flare of passing streetlights revealed them both to me: a woman and a man.

“Hello Elaine.” The woman spoke.

A woman in her late 70s was dressed in a conservatively black but yet stylish dress, her straight hair cut to shoulder showing her grey. Her neck revealed a small pearl necklace. From her wrist, a jeweled bracelet hung tightly, like hand cuffs.

The man, still sitting in the shadows, said nothing.

I checked my phone for messages. I suddenly wanted to call someone, home, a loved one?

“You’re phone is blocked. It’s for your own safety.”

The limo raced through the empty streets, a pair of motorcyclists in dark helmets rode tandem closely.

“Do you know who we are?” She spoke again.

“I suppose not.” She said and after a beat, “I suspect you don’t know who you are much less who we are.”

I struggled with my phone as the battery died. Trying to relax, I leaned back into the leather seat. Staring out the window, the shadows now appeared like apparitions.

A sense of urgency suddenly came over me. I wished the car would go faster.

She read my mind.

“Don’t worry. We’re taking you to a safe house.” She said.

There was much to fear and nothing at all. I felt safe. There was so much at stake. I could feel it.

“You need protection.”

Who am I?

“You are very special. You are not at you but a living truth and your truth must be revealed.”

What is the truth?

“You are my dear.”

Why is the truth in danger?

“The truth is always in danger.”

How will it be revealed?

“The truth will be revealed through your flesh. Through your flesh people will be able to see.”

Does the truth hurt?

“Yes dear, the truth does indeed hurt, doesn’t it?”

I pressed my hand to my aching chest, the chronic heartburn I had endured most of my life, the constant catching of breath?

Why does it hurt?

“Because it is more than most people can take. That ache in your chest is more than just personal pain and suffering, it is an immense ocean of love and grief, of life and death, of endings and beginnings, the infinite, the universal crushed down into one being, one organ, one atom, one word – one.”

“You do not have a heart. You have a whole.”

Something huge was imploding in my chest as she spoke, expanding as I tried to breathe in. I felt the black hole begin to consume me from the inside.

Soon we would all just be particles.

Breathe you in

Was this the beginning or the end?

“This is most definitely a beginning. Try to breathe normally. It will only hurt more if you try to hold it in.”

Let go. Let go. Let it all go.

As a child, I found calm in holding my breath under water that I would do it all the time.

“You can’t stop it. Just try to breathe.”

The importance of breath – all I want is to breathe.

Hyperventilating, I pressed down the window. The wind was still. I gasped for air.

Where are we now?

“We are moving.” She said.

We are constantly moving, backwards and forwards.

Outside the limo, the streets all looked the same, like being in a loop, a spinning loop in time.

Always now.

Timeless.

What will happen when it explodes?

“Then there will be light.”

There were no stars in the sky that night.

Without light there is no reflection.

Taking hold of my hand and leaning into me, she whispered, “The stars can’t shine without you, Elaine”

A tidal wave of love suddenly overwhelmed me, and as I gripped her hand more tightly, love flooded all around us, drowning my face, and my hands as I tried to cover my tears.

The woman pulled the mask from my face, I dropped my hands to my lap.

“Don’t be afraid to show what you are.”

I am everything.

Outside the window the world began to blur out into speed trails.

“We won’t make it to the safe house,” the woman said to the man. He nodded.

“It’s time.”

Duality

Timeless                                                   Now

 

Everything

Love

 

Love                                                                                                                 Love

 

Altogether                                                                                                      One

 

Forever                                                                                                     Together

 

Never

Always

 

True

Hands

Warm                                                          Breath

 

Naked

 

Weightless                                                                                          Wonder

Wishes

Home

Belonging

Happy

Healthy

Lightness

Slowly

Rising

Ready

New

Start

Nowhere

Near

Nothing

 

 

One Life

I think it’s very hard to centre yourself in a relationship because things are constantly changing with two individuals trying to live their own lives independently at the same time as trying to be in one life, together.

How should you live in one life together?

What is this yearning to live one life?

Jet Lag Part IV – Theory of Relativity

A theory that everything is relative

Time is relative. A long day versus a short day. A good year versus a bad year. The longest minute of my life. Relative to my life, yours appears so much better. Relative to me, you are stronger, more courageous, more mature and more successful. Should I be jealous of you? You who can beat me at every sport, run faster, last longer, love perhaps, better. Is it because I may have travelled further from my beginnings than you? Who am I to judge how far you’ve come? And what about refraction, when light hit you in such a way that it bounded off at such a strange and acute angle that you were forced to turn corners, deflect, rebound and perhaps re-invent yourself. Light bends. It distorts. Our expectations are often mislead by a seemingly straight line, but it’s not. Had you a special sight? A better vantage point to know what was coming? Or did you just begin your life with a vision?

Jet Lag Part III

Distance travelled
___________________ = Speed

Time taken

Distances –
Dubai – Jakarta, Indonesia = 6,570 km
Jakarta – Aberdeen, Scotland = 11,718 km
Aberdeen – New Orleans LA USA = 7,148 km
New Orleans – Jakarta = 16,840 km
Jakarta – Aberdeen = 11,718 km
Aberdeen – Glasgow = 196 km
Glasgow – Kota Kinabalu = 11,271 km
Kota Kinabalu – Kuala Lumpur = 1,624 km
___________________________________________
Total = 67,085 km

67,086 km
_______ = 2,096 km/year

32 years

So if 300,000 kilometres per second = speed of light or the speed at which light reaches my body, the moment I am seen, the moment of a body’s existence

Then

Distance Travelled = speed and time
Distance = speed of light x 32 years
Distance = 5.045 x 10 (12)

This formula does not take into account any refraction that may have occurred