I miss you.
I miss you.
When he said, let’s break everything, in the name of poetry –
We raised our glasses, rejoiced, repeated – and believed it
I did not expect you to then turn around and break me.
But that invitation did occur to me
Especially when you said you needed to break free
People say that I make sweeping statements
Be careful of what you wish for
And don’t tempt fate
The goddesses are angry and they don’t take prayers lightly
When you swept me up into your promise
I was ready to believe
All the letters and messages and emails and gifts
I accepted them like a first kiss
I did not want to resist
I wanted to digest you
Fill my belly with the meat of you
Let your flesh combine with mine
If only on the off chance that your flesh would heal me
Feed me with all the good stuff that my body needed to stay alive
You promised to keep me healthy
I was scared but I asked – what do you want from me?
This broken body has very little to offer to a person who has had their awakening
But when you flattered me with your love
I drowned in the possibility
That I could potentially be
You’re breaking point.
God did not reveal herself only to leave me alone
She met me there to show me that conversations are a two way street
That religion is not spirituality but faith
And faith cannot be broken by a broken heart alone
Or even a very bad fight
And even though words are violent
Sometimes I feel that speaking them is better than remaining silent
Love is a war fought only between lovers
Love is a battlefield, Pat.
I cannot fight if there is no love to fight for
I would not struggle without something to struggle for
I would not want to die less there was something to die for
When I said – let’s break everything
I heard the crack of the bone in your chest
And I wanted to smash my hand into my own
To pluck out, not that stupid Apple, but a bone
To support us both as we caved into the weight of
The unbearable lightness of our being.