Stranger

I miss you.

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When he said, let’s break everything, in the name of poetry –

We raised our glasses, rejoiced, repeated – and believed it

I did not expect you to then turn around and break me.

But that invitation did occur to me

Especially when you said you needed to break free

People say that I make sweeping statements

Be careful of what you wish for

And don’t tempt fate

The goddesses are angry and they don’t take prayers lightly

When you swept me up into your promise

I was ready to believe

All the letters and messages and emails and gifts

I accepted them like a first kiss

With Hope

I did not want to resist

I wanted to digest you

Consume you

Fill my belly with the meat of you

Let your flesh combine with mine

If only on the off chance that your flesh would heal me

Feed me with all the good stuff that my body needed to stay alive

You promised to keep me healthy

I was scared but I asked – what do you want from me?

This broken body has very little to offer to a person who has had their awakening

But when you flattered me with your love

I drowned in the possibility

That I could potentially be

You’re breaking point.

Your epiphany.

God did not reveal herself only to leave me alone

She met me there to show me that conversations are a two way street

That religion is not spirituality but faith

And faith cannot be broken by a broken heart alone

Or even a very bad fight

And even though words are violent

Sometimes I feel that speaking them is better than remaining silent

Love is a war fought only between lovers

Love is a battlefield, Pat.

I cannot fight if there is no love to fight for

I would not struggle without something to struggle for

I would not want to die less there was something to die for

When I said – let’s break everything

I heard the crack of the bone in your chest

And I wanted to smash my hand into my own

To pluck out, not that stupid Apple, but a bone

To support us both as we caved into the weight of

The unbearable lightness of our being.